This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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