Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
