whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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