Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
