There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
