No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
