I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
