please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
