Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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