yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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