went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
