just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
