i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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