Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
