I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
