I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
