dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
