so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
