Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
