were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
