Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
