My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
