i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
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