I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
