I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize