With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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