if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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