Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
