Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Houston, we have a blender
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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