drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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