i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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