Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
