Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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