I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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