it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
