I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Quick, to the slutcave!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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