she smelled like a LAN party
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize