I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize