I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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