is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
vagina is talking i cant
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
