If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
A+ Viking dick
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
