Where is the hickey?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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