Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
