it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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