Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he shaved USA in his pubs
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
