I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
