I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
where are my eyebrows?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
