I must be too annoying 4 u.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
