Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
