I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize