I wanna bring you to show and tell
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
