Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
