Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize