Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
