barbara walters just said penis...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
