I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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