Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
