she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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