if you like me you must not know who I am
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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