So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
