omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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