I'm drive I can fine osifer
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
