ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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