why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
