This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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