Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize