You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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