this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
