Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
