i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
