I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You're like the curious george of whores
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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