Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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