loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
